Lets Talk about Anxiety | Bepbeee Chats

23 May 2017

Hey everyone! Hope you're having a lovely day so far.

I did a blog post like this when I talked about fears and I'm so glad that it helped a few of you!
Up until a couple of months ago, I wouldn't have said that I have anxiety, maybe just the odd bit of nervousness for a test or when I'm frightened or scared about something. Up until a couple of months ago, it's all changed.

Back on March 30th, I had my GCSE options meeting at my school. It was in our main hall and I sat in the middle of my Mum and Dad near the end of a row. Half way through I started to feel a little anxious and then suddenly a huge wave of it came over me. My throat was tightening and I couldn't swallow. At this point my heart was jumping out of my chest and I was ready to run out of the hall. I hate even mentioning it but I do have a phobia of sick too so I was frightened that I was going to be sick. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth but the fact that I was worried that everyone could see me having a panic attack made it worse. Somehow, I calmed a bit but then I just had small bursts of anxiety come over me throughout the rest of the meeting. This was terrifying for me and still scares me whenever I think about it. I had never experienced anything like this before.
Smaller versions of what happened at the options meeting have happened quite a lot since then. It could be in a lesson, at home or even in the car.

My Mum and my Dad knew about the options meeting incident but it was only sunday that I told them about how it's been happening quite a lot. After telling them, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I felt better knowing that someone else knew about it. They were really supportive about it and gave me some advice on how to deal with it. Even just talking through how I've felt and them telling me that I wasn't alone really helped.

On Sunday, I decided to email one of the chaplains at my school and ask if I could speak to them. Yesterday after our last lesson, I met up with her and explained to her all about my anxiety and panic attacks that I've had in the last couple of months. Because I get anxious at school and have mini panic attacks in lessons, I had to talk to someone at school about it to see if they could do anything to help me. Like I said about talking to my parents, I felt better just knowing that someone at school knew about it. 
Lynne (the chaplain I spoke to) was so lovely and made me feel so at ease talking to her about my anxiety because even doing that is a huge thing! She taught me some ways on how to deal with it some to do with breathing techniques or things to do when you feel like a panic attack is coming on. She said that at any point I feel anxious, I can leave the classroom for a bit to have a breather which it might never get to that point but if it does, I know I can and have somewhere to go.
I completely know that my anxiety won't go straight away if I say to myself I'm fine because to get rid of anxiety you need to keep repeating those steps and always have a positive mental attitude, even if it's really hard to do so.

If you have anxiety and haven't spoken to someone yet, PLEASE do. I promise you it will do you the world of good. Anyone: your parents, one of your closest friends or a teacher at your school. I'm only speaking from my experience but everyone who I've spoken to about my anxiety have been so understanding and helped me so much. 
Anxiety IS extremely horrible but we all know we can get through this can beat it.

"No amount of regret can change the past. No amount of anxiety can change the future."

Bethan xx

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